I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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