HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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