wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
