..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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