Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
