Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize