If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
