I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I would fuck him just for his dog
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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