this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize