Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
