when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
