WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
