i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
