it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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