You're so nebulous sometimes
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
