I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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