who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
