I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
