Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
