He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
