If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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