Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
