what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
