We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize