Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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