I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dick very happy bro
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
