She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
