"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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