woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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