don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
As shirtless as possible
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
