Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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