omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
