I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
