Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
