Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
