Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
