How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
