4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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