the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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