Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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