So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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