yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
