She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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