Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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