i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
