Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize