Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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