Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
