But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
