just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
