ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
