I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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