That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
