you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize