I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
