how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
